31.1.06
cny's come and gone. it's been the routine visiting and having people visit. im glad to have been able to catch up with a couple of friends as well...people like angie, howie and gavin...those long-time-no-see people.
i am beginning to realize how much i love kids.. mostly because my job has inculcated patience (or maybe endurance) towards them. the occupational hazard even surfaces when im talking to my younger cousins...when i teach them how to play my favourite tumblebugs game, my sister says i sound like im tutoring. it seems a whole lot easier to praise children than it is to praise my sister...perhaps because i have really high expecations of her and that she's not that young like how they are. i have this nagging feeling that i may just land myself with a career involving children, or maybe teaching. is this what people mean by a calling? oh my.
this old man whom i sat next to on the bus home talked to me, and gave me a shock initially. at first he shifted to give me more room and asked if i had enough space. i said yes and thanked him. then he asked me if i wanted the air conditioning, and even though i said it's alright, he adjusted it so i felt the draft. when i already felt uneasy enough having to talk to a stranger and an old man at that, he began telling me things like where he stayed (he even told me which block), that at long last he'd bought bread for breakfast because for the past few days shops were closed, asked me where i lived, if i was studying or working and whether i'd taken dinner... the natural reaction would be to be suspicious, and to think twice about all my answers...as kids, we've all been taught such things...like ensuring i seal my mouth when it comes to questions like "where, specifically, do you live?" then it occured to me that he was just a lonely old man who wanted to make conversation with people...and i thought, even at my age, i already feel comfort from talking to strangers...even if it were just a few minutes, it's a reassurance that im not living my life alone.
it's been a while since someone specially walked me to the busstop. a small gesture, but it made me feel much better than i have for the past few days. i wish this would never end...i dread being lonely. this is certainly the aftermath im experiencing.
den* stepped on your garbage at